All It Took Was One Weird Conversation
by Thea-Zara
Summary: Isaac can't figure out what Scott sees in Stiles. Or, how Isaac and Stiles became friends.


"I really don't know why he keeps you around, pity maybe? I mean Scott's way to nice for his own good, don't you think? And you? You only stay because you're hoping to be like him." Isaac sneered, looking at him out of the side of his eyes while fidgeting with his stuff.

"First off, Lahey, if I wanted to be a wolf I'd have taken it when I was asked. Second, its called friendship look it up. And really if you're so jealous of his time try weening him off Allison, she's way more of a threat to your planned wooing than I'll ever be. All joking aside I'm just not that into him. Oh quit sneering I can see you dig him, and honestly despite your current levels of assholery, you'd be much better date material than the current reigning Argent loon, and boy do I long for the days of Chris being the real wackjob in that family. Course he never sunk lower than tossing teenage boys around hospitals... and huh I can finally see the family resemblance to his dad." Stiles stared off into space for a moment before shaking whatever it was off and refocusing on Isaac.

"Why the Hell was Allison's dad throwing you around the hospital?" Isaac asked curious now, especially after Chris's help with Gerard.

"Oh, me AND Jackson. I swear Jackson cannot fucking lie for shit. Either that or he had some big man crush on Chris Argent... which considering that chiseled jaw and doesn't Jackson just scream out 'looking for a daddy?' Oh god my brain just went to bad, bad awful places, why do you let me do things like this, I mean if we're gonna hang out, and get you a date with Scott you HAVE to learn when to cut me off... now I have bad mental images of Jackson on a leash." Stiles did a full body shudder and smacked himself on the side of the head for good measure.

"Why was he throwing you two around the hospital?" Isaac said, storing that mental image of Jackson away for when Jackson was being even more annoying than usual.

"Oh, he wanted us to tell him where Scott was so he could use him to get to Derek. This was the night Lydia got bit, you know after the dance." Stiles said, settling into his computer chair, while he talked.

"So what'd you just like give him up? Cause I seem to remember hearing how he showed up that night." Stiles was looking at him with both questions and like he was a fucking idiot. "Scott was telling me about it to explain Peter."

"I didn't tell him where Scott was. He didn't realize I had a way to even figure it out, and even if he had, what the fuck was he gonna do, he follows their code. He tried to scare me with rabid dog analogies and I accused him of wanting me to chain Scott up and burn the house down around him... which he got all offended by and started denying till I pointed out his sister was a nutball and wore a stupid necklace that meant she was wanted for arson."

"His sister? Wait, died right before I got turned right?" Isaac asked, intrigued by the weird tale Stiles was spinning.

"Yeah... wackjob Argent numero 2... well, she was already a fucking loon, but we met her second, so there ya go. She shot Derek with some kind of rare wolf's bane bullet, and cost me a fuckton of future therapy bills, for the time I spent gearing myself up to cut off his arm in order to save his life." Isaac was looking at him, eyes wide. "Thank God Scott managed to steal one of the bullets, I literally had the saw in my hand and a tourniquet on his arm. Shit to be honest, I'd probably rather chop off my own arm than someone else's, Even creepy McStalker wolf who was threatening me into it. I mean can you imagine having to do that to someone in the HOPE that it saves their lives?"

Isaac was shaking his head. More than a little green at the thought.

"I know!" Stiles said. "Anyway, she's the fucking reason Derek's family is dead. She's the one who burned the house down on fucking kids. I mean even if you're some psycho were-nazi who doesn't think you guys are human some of the people in that house just human kids and she just didn't give a fuck. Dad had a witness who ID'd her by her necklace. I told Chris that, and he took off to stop her. Which was good timing apparently, cause she was about to kill Derek and Scott when he got there."

"Fuck." Isaac said, taking it all in.

"Yup. I mean I helped firebomb Peter, cause he crossed several lines, but really, I owe him an apology. He tried to tell me once he wasn't the bad guy in the story, and I didn't get it, til I heard about Kate. I mean don't get me wrong Peter is like head creeper of creeper town, and a more cheery psycho I'll hopefully never meet, but he watched his whole family burn thanks to that bitch... I'm fairly sure I'd be down on the revenge train after that myself."

"That being said I hope to never EVER spend anymore quality time with the guy. One boys night out was quite enough, and it took me forever to unbend my keys. And what the hell happened to his car? Is it still sitting somewhere in the woods with nurse bitchy's body in the trunk... shit, now that's gonna drive me nuts until I ask Derek about it, cause I never heard anything about her being found, and all the hunters need is a reason to go after him again."

"Nurse Bitchy?" Isaac asked, doing that weird squinty head tilt that Stiles figured was the werewolf look for 'are you fucking with me?' since they all seemed to do it.

"Yeah, Peter was in long term 'Hey fire burned everything out of me along with half my face so I'm a psychotic vegetable' care. She was his gal Friday... um gopher... shit I don't know, maybe he just liked the sponge baths, but she was in on shit with him, and the night everything went down her body was in the trunk of his car. I'm not sure if Derek hit her too hard, or if Peter didn't wanna pay his medical bills. Hell, for all I know he might have offered her 'The Bite'." Stiles said with wavey finger quotes that looked more like spastic bunny ears. "I mean he did say it might kill you."

"That right there is another plus in the Peter column of our wack-a-doo round-up. Truth in advertising. He's like the sassy Hannibal Lecter of the werewolves."

"Seriously?" Isaac's eyes were fairly huge in his head, which Stiles didn't get, til he remembered just who Isaac was staying with.

"Just remember two things, always have good manners, and never criticize his fashion sense. Which I have to say is actually very good. I mean you should SEE the dress he helped Allison pick out for the dance. It really went with her coloring... and I'm gonna shut up now before I lose my guy card." Stiles said, cheeks slightly flushed.

"He seriously helped her pick out a dress?" Isaac asked halfway between laughing his ass off and choking to death.

"Oh yeah, Peter proves without a doubt that Derek came across his creeper slash do-gooder shtick naturally. That shit is soo genetic. I mean seriously who creeps up on a teen girl, compliments her skin, chases her away from bad fashion, and then picks her out the perfect dress... all while leering over her skin-tone? And he's so convincing she BOUGHT the dress despite the creepiness."

Isaac was fairly sure if he'd been human still he'd have died from laughing so hard. He smiled up at Stiles, and finally got why Scott wanted him around. "So... you mentioned something about weening Scott off Allison?"

Stiles just grinned at him, before launching into the seventeen different fool proof plans he had to help Isaac snag his wolf.

The End


End file.
